Friday, March 17, 2006

Mohammed Gets Saved

The following story is ghost written by me (because I know Mohammed will not take the time to write it down), but actually happened (and has been recreated to the best of my ability, though without Mohammed's help, I am basically re-telling a story I was told one time orally from memory) to a lapsed Muslim friend of mine (whose name has been changed to protect his identity, and who happens to be a real estate agent among other things). Mohammed thought this story was as funny as I still do when he first told me. But as a few days passed, it was clear he was more and more bothered by it. He felt tricked, and used. He was very concerned she was going to get "God points" for this, he thought she should lose some, since he didn't mean any of it, and was tricked. I won't bother stating my opinion here, I think telling the story is good enough. You the reader, can go ahead and determine whether she gets "God points", was Mohammed's saving legitimate, or does it not count? I report, you decide.

Mohammed Gets Saved

I was showing a house to a nice lady, and then after we were finished she shared with me that she really liked the house and that she was feeling very good because she had a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. She asked me if I had been "saved". I wasn't sure what to say, I told her I was Muslim. She asked if I would pray with her. I shrugged, and said ok. She said, "I will pray first, just repeat after me what I say, then you can pray". She began "Heavenly Father: I come to you in prayer, asking for the forgiveness of my sins. I confess with my mouth..." She continued on too much for me to repeat, so I would summarize her bit with a short phrase that had the same general point. As the prayer went on, I realized this wasn't just any prayer she came up with out of nowhere. A friend later recognized the prayer, based on what I was able to remember, as the "Sinner's Prayer".

After she fininshed her prayer, she told me it was my turn. I told her that the way I usually pray is to kneel facing the easy, and pray in arabic, and that she probably wouldn't understand it. She said ok, and let it go at that, she had saved a soul, and was able to leave with a great sense of satisfaction.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

The Torn-Up Credit Card Application

Ashes named favorite sacrament third year in a row!

BEFORE your blood pressure starts to rise...let it be known that this is a parody:

BOSTON -- For the third year in a row, the ashes received during the Ash Wednesday service was listed in an ABC-News/Washington Post poll as most Roman Catholic's favorite sacrament, topping both communion and baptism.

"There is just something about receiving those ashes that makes me feel, well alive," said Katie Stanbury, a lobbyist with Phelps/Dawson Public Relations. "I miss mass quite a bit, but I never, ever miss this service.

"Fr. Allen Bannion, of St. Peter Claver Church in Boston, said that the Ash Wednesday service is always standing room only. "People just love that service, as well as the one for Palm Sunday. We always have more people there than any other time of year," he said. "Yeah, people come on Sunday for communion, but at these services they get a little something extra. It is sort of like Bonus Days at the Clinique counter, when you not only get the perfume you went in to purchase, but a kick-ass red lipstick, as well. Or so I've been told."

Maggie Oliver, a retired schoolteacher, said her favorite sacraments are baptism and confirmation. "It's a great chance to take some pictures and see relatives I haven't seen in awhile. Oh, plus we all go out to eat afterwards, which is fun," she said.

Other favorite sacraments listed, in order, included: 2) baptism, 3) "that day when we get to bring in our pets for blessings" 4) communion (if viewed as a symbol only) 4) annulment 5) Confirmation and 6) marriage.

According to the poll, Roman Catholics have different interpretations on what the word sacrament means. Responses given included: "a symbol," "something that makes you feel happy, blessed or relieved," "a church function or practice" or "a tradition."

Kenny Daniels said he thinks so much of the Ash Wednesday service that when he arrived late last night, he simply left. "I could have stayed for communion, but I came for the ashes," he said. "So, I just went to Starbuck's instead. Oh well, there's always next year."

Sunday, March 12, 2006

I am...

Paul VI
You are Pope Paul VI. You don't get no respect.

Which Twentieth Century Pope Are You?
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